


Forging Steel

by AboveReality



Category: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Man of Steel (2013), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Blood and Gore, Excessive Drinking, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship, Mental Health Issues, Psychological Torture, Romance, Slow Burn, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-08-30 15:11:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8537905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AboveReality/pseuds/AboveReality
Summary: After tragedy Alexandra Reeves is forced to give up her work with the coastguard and take up a job as a waitress. With long shifts and the care for her mother with Alzheimer's at home Alex has no time to socialize out of work. Nor can she afford to do so.Stressed out, Alex fails to do her work and her boss decides to hire someone else. Will she be able to finally accept Clark Kent? Or will she keep fighting it? And what about her mother?Begins before Clark discovers he's Kal El. Follows through the movie and perhaps even Batman v Superman.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> My first Superman ficlet. Thought long and hard about this!!
> 
> English is not my first language. Grammar mistakes may occur. Enjoy!

Fire.  
  
Scorching hot even when she wasn’t near it. The enormous crashing waves of the sea did nothing against it, as it only flared even hotter due to the surging wind. Fuelled by it along with the oil. They were trapped like rats.  
  
Explosions coming from deep within the oilrig shook the helicopter she was in and forcing to hold on the bar above the open door tighter. All of the other crew had been evacuated, but one remained. Leaning against a heavy steel beam, distressed and strained.  
  
“Lower us! I’m going to get him!” She called over the radio to the pilot.  
  
_“Be careful, Alex,”_ he replied, curt due to concentration.  
  
The wind tried to get a hold on her as she descended along the wire, strapped in tightly with her harness. She swayed back and forth due to it, the heat of the fire made her sweat and the thick black smoke irritated her throat when her feet touched the platform.  
  
“Sir! I’m here to help! Come on!” Alex yelled to the man a few meters in front of her. Her voice was barely audible to her own ears over the roar of wind, sea and the helicopter above her but the man seemed to hear her nonetheless and looked up. Angry, stressed, almost pleading. All kinds of emotions radiating off of him, face filled with expression despite his wild beard covering half of it.  
  
“What are you doing here?! Go! I’m going to be fine!” He roared at her, not seeming to mind the carnage of flames behind him even though his torso was bare.  
  
“It’s brave that you saved those men,” Alex began, voice toning down a bit as she realized what she was dealing with. This man had to be suicidal. Why would he otherwise stand there? “But you don’t have to die here,” she took a small step towards him. His eyes flicked down at her feet and then back to her face, a feral look in them. It instilled a bit of fear in her, but she had not time to acknowledge it. Right now, her main concern was to get far away from this place with the man in tow.  
  
Alex reached out her gloved hand to him, offering the man to take it and granting him another chance at life. He was tall, nearly half a head than her and almost twice as wide. Alex knew that her harness and the rope could hold both of them, but a man this size would be a trouble to hold on to if he wouldn’t cooperate even though she was no small weak woman either with her 5’8. He needed to come with her willingly.  
  
_“Alix, we need to go. Now!”_ her radio blared urgently in her ear. She took a deep breath, knowing that they ran out of time but she could not rush this. Alex took another step closer to the man, one more and she could reach him.  
  
“Let me help you,” she whispered. Her eyes searched his, trying to lock into them and finally they did. There was despair in them, fear, helplessness but also a deep simmering strength and something otherworldly in that bright blue that Alex could not place.  
  
“Please.”  
  
Time ran out. The structure around them groaning and falling apart literally. The platform on which they stood shook and her pilot screamed in her earpiece to grab the man and jump so that they could manoeuvre away from the collapsing oilrig.  
  
A particularly large explosion made Alex stammer just when she wanted to jump and grab the man. Metal was flung everywhere, nails and bolts springing unable to take the pressure. The tower tilted towards them. The man in front of her _roared_ , still leaning against the beam.  
  
“GO!”  
  
She shot the man another look, he returned it with a pleading glare. She needed to leave him otherwise she and her colleagues were doomed to die with him. But a part inside of her did not want to go, it wanted to help him. A beam collapsing on the ground next to her, pulled her out of her thoughts and set things in motion.  
  
“I’m sorry!” Alex turned and ran towards the edge of the platform. “Go, go, go!” she yelled in her radio when she jumped. The helicopter’s engine roared with strain, trying to lift but it was difficult due to the swirling winds. Alex held onto the wire and her harness for dear life, adrenaline flooding her veins.  
  
There was another explosion, far nearer than the last that engulfed the man in flames. A large piece of metal was flung at them in the shockwave. Alex held her breathe as time seemed to slow down but was rapid at the same time. It struck right into the cockpit, her radio immediately went into static and the helicopter plummeted down. The still spinning rotor blades missed her, only god knew how and Alex had no time to scream when she was pulled down into the ocean.  
  
The water was dark, freezing. Incapacitating her for a few seconds before she could swim to the surface spluttering. Trying to breathe in some cold oxygen before the huge waves engulfed her again and again. Alex was pulled down under and when she wanted to reach back to the surface her hands touched metal. The helicopter had washed over her.  
  
She opened her eyes despite the stinging water but saw nothing but darkness. Alex scrambled and pushed, legs almost tangling in the wire floating around her, but the metal did not give. Disoriented Alex swum backwards, but then there was another wave making her tumbling and tangle. Panic started to rise inside of her, the need to breathe excruciating.  
  
This was it. This was her death.  
  
Then something grabbed the back of her jacket and violently pulled her back and up. The roar of the sea deafening compared to the silent pressing depths below the water. Her upper body was hoisted onto something metal without effort. She instantly grabbed on to it, coughing and heaving. Then hands on her harness, tearing it apart and off of her.  
  
Alex blinked, eyes stinging due to the salt. The burning oilrig illuminating everything around her in an eerie light, almost ominous and hellish. A silhouette then obstructed the view, hand on her back, hair and beard wild. It was him. The man on the platform.  
  
He said something to her, but Alex could only see his mouth moving as her ears started to ring drowning out all other sounds. She grew incredibly tired as the adrenaline and panic flushed out of her system and fought to stay awake. The hand on her back travelled up to her bare neck, the skin to skin contact bringing her back to reality for just a moment. Her eyes glanced up, meeting an otherworldly gaze that she could not place still.  
  
“You’re safe, Alex.”  
  
“Alex.”  
  
“ **ALEXANDRA REEVES**.” __  
  
A hand shaking her shoulder vigorously woke her with a start.  
  
“Wake up!” A stern deep voice scolded her. Instantly Alex looked up from her seat and into the eyes of Thomas Cassidy, the owner of Cassidy Inn Pub. “What are you doing here asleep where you should be serving? Monica is covering for you _again_. This is your last warning, understood?”  
  
“I-I, sorry sir. Won’t happen again,” Alex stammered, for a moment disoriented by her dream, and flung up from her seat straightening out her kaki-brown apron. She did not look her boss in the eye when she moved pass him out of the backroom and into the fray of the diner. A part of her wanted to lash out to him; rage about the minimum wage she was getting though she worked six days a week from opening to closing time. Rage about the little sleep she was getting, her nightmares, worries about her mother.  
  
But the fear of losing her only source of income quelled the barbed tongue she once had. It made her pick up her tray, plaster on a fake smile and get out there. Serving the inhabitants of Nanaimo, Vancouver Island and those who passed through by truck, boat or by bike. It could be rowdy, but Thomas Cassidy was a respected man and if you didn’t he forced you to. He was greying, bulky and was amicable to and considerate of his customers. People took a liking to him, so nothing really serious ever happened in the Cassidy Inn Pub.  
  
‘ _If they only knew,_ ’ Alex darkly thought as she wrote down the order of Bill Lerish, an old fisherman who was a regular. She did not let her thoughts come to the forefront of her expression and smiled at him before turning back to go to the bar.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
Alex glanced aside as she wiped the excess foam from Bill’s beer and put it on her tray. Monica stood beside her, a worried expression on her face.  
  
“Hey Mon,” Alex said, trying to play it cool. “Thank you, for covering me.”  
  
“Alex,” her friend sighed and brushed her hand through her dark locks.  
  
Monica was a gorgeous woman. Curvy and exotic with dark hair and dark eyes and a lovely personality to match, Alex’s complete opposite. Mon could attract customers, hold them here a little while longer that obviously worked in Thomas’ favour. The woman was also smart, having the know-how to run this place should Thomas ever retire. It was the most logical option, for it was no secret that Monica was a favourite.  
  
In more ways than one, rumour said.  
  
But most of all, Monica was one of her few friends here in Nanaimo. Sure she had other colleagues and acquaintances, but her current situation did not leave room for much socializing outside of work and she felt closest to Monica. Alex tried not to care about it, but unconsciously it still gnawed on her. It felt lonely.  
  
“Alex,” Monica said again, her tone a bit aggravated but low so that the customers did not overhear. “I know you can’t help it but I can’t keep covering for you. Thomas was pissed.”  
  
Alex looked at her friend and nodded, mutely. “Yeah, I got the hint. I just-” she sighed, exhausted and closer to crying than she liked. “Won’t do it again, promise,” Alex said with a small false smile. Then she took her tray and walked toward Bill who still waited for his beer.  
  
The rest of the day crept by, customers went in and out and around 10PM Alex threw the cleaning rag in the washer and tore off her apron, a weight dropping from her shoulders at the same time. Done for today, ready for tomorrow.  
  
When she wanted to get her bag, Monica was talking in a hushed tone to Thomas in the office, that was adjacent to the backroom. As Alex stuffed her apron in there and changed shirts she could not help but to overhear their conversation.  
  
“She promised that she wouldn’t do it again, Thomas. She needs this-”  
  
“And we need to hire someone who doesn’t sleep on the job Monica, and who actually does it right. I don’t pay her to slack off.” Thomas’ voice pitched lower in anger.  
  
“Alex works very hard,” Monica defended. “And she’s only been here for a few months. Give her time to sort things out here and at home.”  
  
There was an aggravated sigh. “Fine, but we still need another pair of hands. Would you be so kind to make a pamphlet or spread the word around?”  
  
“Sure,” Monica accepted, her tone softer and more caressing. The sound of a kiss. “Thank you.”  
  
Alex threw on her coat and left the diner, an uncomfortable knot twisting in her guts that had not left when she got home and turned off the car. She was really walking on thin ice here. A stressed feeling caused the knot to twist even tighter, making her nauseous.  
  
‘ _What if?_ ’  
  
“No, Alex. Stop thinking that, take it a day at a time. One day things will look up to you,” she whispered to herself and exited the car. Keys jingling in her hands as she fumbled for one of the front door. Before she opened she mentally barred herself, wondering what she would encounter today.  
  
After the accident over half a year ago, Alex had lost her job as a coastguard. No longer fit for that kind of work because she had developed a fear of heights and large bodies of water of where she could no longer touch the ground.  
  
It had been a financial struggle after that with no income and a bad caring system for those with mental issues. Combined with almost no social life due to her now crazy work hours, the reoccurring flashbacks and nightmares of that faithful day and the increasing amount of care that her demented mother needed of where she had moved in to, was putting a toll on Alex. Mentally and physically.  
  
But she had to keep moving forward.  
  
With her heart in her throat Alex opened the front door and step inside and instantly glanced around. Looking good so far, no strange smells yet. “Mom, I’m home!” Alex called out and hung up her coat on the rack, before venturing further in the small house inspecting the rooms. Nothing was broken or seemed to be misplaced. The only thing that was missing was her mother.  
  
Feeling anticipation Alex ventured up the staircase and to her mother’s bedroom. She knocked and entered, releasing the breath she had been holding.  
  
Lilian Reeves sat on the edge of the bed, still dressing in her gown for she had forgotten to change. A frame clutched in her old frail hands, thumb rubbing over it. Without a word Alex sat down next to her mother, ignoring the smell of urine and faeces wafting off of her. Her eyes darted at the object her mother still clutched, who had not acknowledged her presence or whatsoever.  
  
It was a family photo from long ago, when Alex graduated high school. Her younger self grinned at the photographer, wearing braces then. Next to her was her mother, looking younger with less wrinkles etched into the skin of her face that was then a bit puffy instead of gaunt. A lively gaze in her green eyes and hair still a light brown. On Alex’s other side was her father, a tall man of which she had inherited her height and ashen blond hair though in the picture his was then white. Her mother’s thumb rubbed over it constantly, in a strange back and forth rhythm.  
  
“Mom?” Alex whispered, voice small and carefully touched her mother’s shoulder. She did not respond. “Have you eaten today?” Still nothing.  
  
Slowly Alex lifted herself off the bed and kneeled in front of her mother, gently taking a hold of the picture that her mother instantly released. Finally green eyes that matched her own raised to meet her. They were less ‘alive’ than in the picture, clouded and clueless. Lost.  
  
“Let’s go take a shower, then I’ll make you some dinner alright?” Alex suggested, a small smile on her face to try and get some sort of reaction out of the woman that had once been a bubbly, lively person. Now Alzheimer had taken it all away, eating away at her memories, emotions and everything that made Lilian Reeves a person, a friend. A mom.  
  
The roles of caring were now reversed as Alex soaped in her mother’s body. Once it was strong, soft and healthy. Now weak, bony and frail. The disease making her mother forget to eat, to dress herself and the ability to form words and talk.  
  
Every day it was heart-wrenching, but Alex grew into it and managed to tune out her feelings. She had moved in quickly when the first signs of the decease made it difficult for her mother to function in her day-to-day life her at Nanaimo. Her father had passed away the year before due to a cardiac arrest and Alex had no other siblings or close-by relatives. So she took on the task to care for her mother.  
  
Her wage she had gotten from her job as a coastguard made it easy to pay off the medical bills, making life bearable for both of them. Now, when Alex was stuck to waitressing for god knew how long, she could no longer afford medication. Not even someone to look after her mother when she was off to work.  
  
Lilian was engulfed by the flashing lights of the television, but not really seeing anything, as Alex was cooking macaroni for her. Having grinded the vegetables through the sauce otherwise her mother would spit them out, and she needed the nutrition.  
  
As her mother took the spoon handed to her and started to eat, Alex quickly got back upstairs and changed the bedsheets. Dumping the load in the washing machine along with her mother’s the second pair of PJ’s today. She turned it on and went back down stairs, to discover her mother having disregarded the spoon and started to eat the macaroni with her bare hands, occasionally smearing it on the television screen.  
  
Alex was exhausted, stretched out thin, but she moved towards her mother nonetheless and took her gently by the hand. Guiding her to the table where they both sat down at. Finally her mother looked at her, really looked and smiled wordlessly before taking a bite that Alex offered to her on the spoon she had forsaken at first. There had been a flicker of recognition in her green eyes, but it was no longer in the way how a mother looked at her daughter. It will never be that way again.  
  
And Alex kept feeding, showering, and caring for her mother even if she wanted to scream, cry and rage. Alex kept moving forward.  
  
Because she loved her.


	2. Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. yeah. I noticed that this isn't yet popular. Every beginning is difficult ;)   
> Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!
> 
> Please keep in mind that English is not my mother-language. I checked, but mistakes can occur.

Alexandra manoeuvred passed the customers, tray in hand and up high so that she wouldn’t bump into someone with it. It was busy in the Cassidy Pub Inn. A local singer was on stage, her voice soft and melodious and supported with a guitar and bass. Alex did not know her, but apparently the rest of Nanaimo did. Its inhabitants had flooded the Pub.  
  
She was working overtime, sweating like crazy and the strands of ashen blond hair that had fallen out of the bun on the back of her head, stuck to her face and neck like a clingy boyfriend. Finally she reached the table where Thomas sat with a two friends of his. She shot them a smile.  
  
“Here are you beers, as you ordered,” Alex announced and put one in front of each. “Is there anything else you wished for?” She asked and clenched the tray between her elbow and body as she took out her notebook and pen, waiting for an order that did not come.  
  
“May I introduce you all to Alexandra Reeves,” Thomas suddenly said, gesturing towards her. “One our hardest workers.” He looked up to her with an upturned corner of his mouth as if he was amused, but in his eyes she could see that he was not. Nonetheless she played along and sloppily curtsied. One of his friends laughed. The other looked her up and down in a way that was very uncomfortable.   
  
“Please let me know if you need anything,” Alex said, feeling on the spot and wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. She turned and walked away, restraining herself to flee the scene and try to appear casual. A wolf howl followed her and humiliation coloured her cheeks.  
  
Bristled she tapped another few beers and poured a glass of wine for the next batch of customers. With her forearm she wiped the sweat from her brow and the strands out of her face before delivering it, still kind to the customers.  
  
It was damp inside and warm due to the many people cramped together in the not so large diner. Suddenly it started to feel crowded, suffocating. Alex hurried past Karen, another waitress who called after her, but Alex ignored her. Heart elevating and panic bubbling up to the surface. She felt trapped, tangled like that time when she thought she was drowning.   
  
Alex escaped through the emergency exit in the backroom, heaving and gulping in sweet oxygen that almost hurt the back of her throat due to the freezing  temperature. There was no one outside, no crowd, no testosterone, no Thomas that belittled her. Just her and the unmoving cars parked around the diner.  
  
Still trying to quell her anxiety Alex sat down on of the steps and closed her eyes. Savouring this moment of peace for just a minute before the door behind her opened.  
  
A familiar red-head sat down next to her, cigarette dangling between red-painted nails. “Hey,” Karen said with a southern accent in her voice. She had moved here from Texas with her parents. Though the red-head was five years Alex’ junior she sometimes sounded way beyond her age. Wise and more down-to-earth than any other twenty-three year old.   
  
“You okay? You look pale,” she stated and lit up her cigarette. Karen blew out the smoke out of Alex’s general direction but she still smelled it and restrained herself from wrinkling her nose against the smell. Karen did not see this.  
  
“I’m fine; It’s just hot inside.” Alex began and stood up. She did not want to tell Karen about her troubles. About how bad it was with her mother last night, who wandered around crying and howling. Afraid of being left alone, restless to the point of exhaustion and needing comfort and closeness like toddler. Alex did everything out of love, but it meant she had to surrender her sleep.  
  
Even though Karen seemed wiser than her age, she was still a twenty-three year old girl with ambitions who didn’t refrain herself from gossip. Last thing she needed was Thomas or Monica accusing her _again_ from slacking off just because she wanted to get some air and Karen could not keep her mouth shut. Alex did not trust her.  
  
“Have you heard? They are hiring someone new,” Karen blurted out. Her grey eyes looked up to Alex with smugness written all over her face. “Full-time.”  
  
“I see. Well good for her, I hope she fits the team. When does she start?” Alex asked out of curiosity, though there was a foreboding feeling settling in her stomach. Did they already want to replace her? Had they gotten back on given her another chance?  
  
“It’s a guy,” Karen revealed and took another inhale of her cigarette. The smoke was starting to irritate Alex’s nose. “He worked with the crab fishermen out on the Bering Sea for a few years. Said he wanted something on land and settle. He’s also hot, good for Thomas’ customers. Tomorrow is his first day.”   
  
Intention was written all over Karen’s face and laced in her voice. Alex looked away to the doorknob in her hands, already feeling pity for the guy because Karen had apparently decided that he was going to be her next conquest.   
  
“Okay,” Alex said, not knowing anything else to utter out instead of that four-lettered word and went back inside. She acknowledged the fact that he could be her replacement, but it still terrified her. How was she going to do it then? Dread started to settle inside her that simmered on the surface the rest of the evening.  
  
At home mother was wandering around restless, but sitting on the couch cuddled up against her like she did to her when still a child brought the closeness Lilian apparently needed. With dry, tired eyes Alex focused on her laptop. Often the words got in and out of focus, but she had to work. Had to search and apply for jobs.  
  
After registering on several websites Alex closed her laptop and put it away. Her mother stirred next to her, still awake like her even though it was passed midnight.  
  
“Come one, time for bed” Alex whispered and stood up, her mother followed albeit with some help. They ventured up the stairs together and toward Lilian’s bedroom. Her mother sat down and Alex lifted her legs in bed before tucking her in.   
  
Green eyes matching her own looked up in expectance, flicking from one eye to the other. Alex regarded her mother in the same matter, just watching for just a moment in silence. It broke Alex’s heart in a way.  
  
“Goodnight mom,” Alex finally said and kissed her on the forehead. She then stood up and left, closing the door behind her then ventured to the bathroom.  
  
She stripped down and looked up into the mirror whilst the shower was running, taking its time to get warm. Karen was right, she _was_ pale. Her ashen hair once thick and wavy, now stringy and dull. Her body was athletic, used to hard-labour and not quite as curvy as Monica or Karen. She even could use some fat here and there to soften up. Abruptly done with her butchering her body image Alex stepped underneath the warm water, quickly washing her hair and body before the warm water ran out.   
  
Clean and dressed in an oversized shirt as her PJ Alex got into bed. Her mother’s room was next to hers and she could already here the stumbling of Lilian moving around. For hours Alexandra listened to her mother crying, scuffling about, opening doors and closing them. Searching. Lost.   
  
Near dawn Alex fell asleep, for just an hour or two before her alarm blared her awake. Making her feel even more tired than before she went to bed. Her mother was asleep when Alex entered her bedroom, two sandwiches on a plate and two large glasses. One filled with milk, the other lemonade.  
  
The drive towards the diner was tense. Her stomach practicing acrobatic leaps as the sun just barely grazed the orange clouds high up in the sky. Struggling to come up and shine its golden rays across Vancouver Island.   
  
The old truck of her father rattling when she pulled over, groaning when she put it into park. There was no foreign car on the parking lot and Alex started to doubt Karen’s words. She got out of her truck and stuck her hands in her coat. She already wore her work clothes; except for the apron that was stuffed in her deep pocket. Why keep changing if this was her life? Day in, day out.  
  
Alex quelled her gloomy thoughts and pulled up her hair in a ponytail as she walked towards the diner. Her life. She greeted Karen and Thomas who were both smoking outside and headed inside, glad that it was Monday so that she could just do her thing without overworking herself and dealing with crowds.  
  
Monica was already cleaning the bar, so after dumping her coat in the backroom Alex started to clean the tables and chairs, just in case Karen had not done it right yesterday. It was 10am when the first customers ventured in, a few regular fishermen, for a cup of coffee.   
  
Thomas was in his office and Karen serving drinks whilst Alex was at the bar, checking stock and taking notes on what to order for the upcoming week. She turned when she heard the front door open and close, bringing a cold breeze along with the next customer.  
  
He was tall, half-a-head than hers and twice as broad, but not bulky. His face, contoured by a defined jaw and nose, lit up due to his eyes that were a shade of otherworldly blue Alex had not yet seen before. His jet black hair curled slightly, a few strands falling over his forehead whilst the rest seemed somewhat tamed.   
  
Foreign, exotic, alien. All of these words randomly popped up inside her head as he walked in her direction. His eyes scanned briefly around, smiling and nodding at the other customers that he passed. The wife of Duncan Lerish, brother of Bill, who sat next to her husband turned bright red. Alex chuckled.  
  
“Hi,” he greeted her. Voice laced with a southern accent that was not as strong as Karen’s. “I’m looking for Thomas Cassidy?”  
  
Alex nodded to him, placing her notes and pen on the bar before gesturing to him to follow her. “Follow me please.”  
  
‘ _He must be the guy,_ ’ Alex thought, shooting a glance to him from over her shoulder. He smiled, noticing her. Alex quickly turned back around, trying to contain the heat that threatened to creep up her cheeks. They passed Karen, who winked at the man, obviously flirting. Alex did not know what he returned but she heard Karen’s giggle. She clenched her fists for a moment, but then exhaled.   
  
‘ _Relax, it’s not my business,_ ’ she thought as they passed the door to the backroom. ‘ _Don’t attach._ ’  
  
“This is his office,” Alex announced and glanced over her shoulder for a moment right into his eyes. They were even bluer up close. Focussing on the matter at hand Ann knocked on the door, opening it after Thomas’ ‘Yes?’.   
  
“Sir, someone wanted to see you,” Alex explained and stepped aside to make room for the man. Thomas instantly jumped up and jutted out his hand, that the stranger shook. Alex could see a flicker of pain crossing Thomas’ face, the man apparently saw it also for he instantly released Thomas’ hand.   
  
“Sorry, I sometimes had the tendency to forget my own strength.”  
   
Thomas waved away the apologies and kneaded his knuckles a bit, flexing his fingers to ease the pain. “Don’t worry about it, Clark. I like a man with a firm handshake and I’m glad that you could make it. You up for it today?”  
  
The man, apparently called Clark, smiled and nodded. He seemed eager like a little boy waiting for Christmas. “Yes, sir.”   
  
_‘So he_ is _the new employee,’_ Alex thought. Feeling uneasy as she stood there in the door opening, waiting for Thomas to send her way but he did not. Instead he gestured to her, effectively putting her in the spotlights.  
  
“This is Alexandra Reeves, you’re working with her today. Alexandra, this is Clark Kent our new co-worker.”  
  
Instead of co-worker, the word _replacement_ echoed within Alex’s head.  
  
With effort Alex forced a smile on her face she took Clark’s large outstretched hand, shaking it. The skin was callous of hard-work but his grip much more tender than on what he used on Thomas. It was warm, safe, strong. But as quick as she took it, Alex released the appendage. Ignoring the flutter of butterflies in her gut.  
  
‘ _Don’t attach. You’re gone after he knows the robes._ ’  
  
“Nice to meet you, Clark.”  
  
The man, oblivious to her inner struggle, smiled. It was bright, heart-stopping and seemed to lit up the room.   
  
“Likewise, Alex. I’m looking forward to work with you.”  
  
“Likewise,” she replied. Willing it to be a lie.


	3. Fuel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a while. Life happened. Bit of a depressing chapter, but one day it will look up for Alex. I promise.

Clark had to be some kind of superman. He did everything; the hauling of furniture, serving customers and had memorized on how to use the cash register with just a single explanation and looking over a shoulder for a few times. Whereas Alex it took a few days to really knows the ins and outs, and she was a fast learner.  
  
Thomas had the best day of his life.  
  
Alex was cleaning the tables and turning up the chairs so that Karen could vacuum and mop the floor, whilst Clark was called back to the office.  
  
“He’s getting the job, I just know it. Did you see how he charm Miss Woodler? Normally she barely pays for her drink and now she just had five!” Karen whispered to her, clearly amazed and caught up by the radiant ‘god’ named Clark Kent. Okay maybe god was overdoing it, but you get the drift.  
  
Alex did not reply, a jealous feeling having settled over her and with hatred simmering just on the surface. Sure he was nice, had a smile that could be infectious and was good-looking, but did he have to be so perfect in everything? It brushed her the wrong way, especially now. Alex had to force herself to keep breathing and not breakdown, this was it. She knew it.  
  
“Thank you Mr. Cassidy, but if it weren’t for Alex-”  
  
“Nonsense, I can see that you have talent and talent is what we want here in the Cassidy Inn Pub,” Thomas boasted and clapped Clark on the shoulder as they ventured out in the common room.  
“Girls, he’s staying.”  
  
Karen let out a squeal and ran to their newest colleague, hugging him and congratulating him. Monica grinned at the sight, drying the last of the glasses behind the bar. And Alex just stood there, nailed to the ground.  
  
Clark looked at her, smiling with joy and Alex tried to return it. Trying to be happy for him she really did, but it sure must have come off as a grimace because the shine in those blue eyes of his diminished, his expression falling with it. Karen, oblivious like Monica and Thomas of Alex’s gloomy mood, started to talk to Clark, drawing his attention to her. It was Alex’s moment to escape.  
  
She gave Monica the wet towel that she used for cleaning the tables and said goodbye. Not wanting to be part of this ‘celebration’ anymore. It felt nauseating, taunting, and just plain _wrong_. Depressed, Alex donned her coat and went out the backdoor.  
  
It was dark outside, the wind having not yet picked up though a storm was predicted that night. Worry about her mother settled again in her gut when she ventured around the back and onto the parking lot.  
  
Her dad’s old truck; a chevy from 1967 with chipped dark red paint, was waiting for her below a streetlight. It was quite battered by the elements and time itself, and surprised even Alex on how it was still going because she had no money to really maintain it aside from the high necessities such as oil, gas and tires. When the tip of her fingers just brushed the chilly dull chrome door handle someone called out her name behind her. Alex turned around to see Clark walking towards her, hurry in his pace that slowed when their eyes met. He seemed to have wrenched himself loose from Karen’s greedy hands, even if it was just a moment.  
  
“Shouldn’t you get back to the party?”  
  
Inside, Alex flinched at the clipped tone the words rolled over her tongue. It was harsh and impatient and made Clark stop just a few meters away from her, a look of confusion flashing briefly across his face. Alex knew that she shouldn’t, but she felt threatened and irritated by his presence.  
  
“I, yeah-” he began, clearly hesitant and ran a hand through his unruly black hair but failed to tame it. “I just wanted to thank you, personally. You _really_ helped me out.”  
  
Alex tore her eyes away from his to her feet when the earnest of his gratitude got to her; it showed in the clear blue of his eyes. The irritation she felt at first now dissipated, leaving her exhausted and stressed.  
  
“Yeah, no problem,” she murmured and unlocked her car. “I’m sure you could have also done it without me; they adore you. You would have done fine.”  
  
When Alex slid behind the wheel she suddenly found herself fighting back tears. Everything was real again; harsh and blinding reality instead of the dazed dream she often spent her days as life crept by her.  
  
‘ _How am I going to do this?_ ’ she thought when her mother popped up before her mind’s eye. They could live from Alex’ savings for about two months in total. Perhaps three if she sold the house, but having no roof above their heads was no option. An inevitable scenario if Alex did not find another job soon now that Clark was hired.  
  
“You okay?”  
  
The clear voice that belonged to that bane of a man pulled Alex back from her crazed, desperate thoughts and she looked up. He was staring down at her with a crease between his eyebrows and the corners of his mouth pulled down in worry, holding her car door open.    
  
Everything that wanted to resurface was getting squashed down, swallowed. She could not break down especially not in front of Clark who was practically just a stranger. Alex did not want pity, because pity did not help to pay the bills. But something about Clark standing just within arm’s reach, a calm presence within the chaos that was her life with the streetlight shining through his dark mop of curls, made her want to have _his_ pity. His calm.  
  
Karen shouted and waved in the distance, drawing their attention for a second and ending the moment.  
  
“I’m fine. Go back to the party, Karen misses you,” Alex snapped and pulled her door close none too gently, causing Clark to react and pull back his hand quickly before it got squashed. She revved up the old Chevy’s engine and drove away, not looking back in her mirror to his retreating form.  
  
Her own inner frustration made her put down the gas pedal, driving faster than it was safe. Before Alex knew it she already pulled up on the driveway and let the engine die. Sighing along with it. Dreading what she might encounter inside the house.  
  
Inside it was quiet aside the soft murmur of the television hailing from their small living room. After hanging her coat on the rack next to the front door, Alex started to investigate and venture towards the sound.  
  
The hallway was not spacious and could feet three to four people if cramped. On the walls there were pictures of past pets, their family and some relatives like her grandparents and a few uncle and aunts. Memories of a good time. Within a several long steps Alex was already at the door that was slightly askew, separating it from the living room. She peeked in it and could already see her mother sitting on their lime green couch that did not match the red curtains hiding their life from the outside world, staring intently to the flickering screen.  
  
It was not a program that was playing, nor any type of film some channel would broadcast. Instead it was her; 6 years old and grinning at the camera before running off with a ball giggling as a man followed her with outstretched arms, laughing. In the film he scooped her younger-self up, making her drop the ball but she was giggling too much to care. Instead she stretched her arms, pretending to be flying. The sound coming from her mother still matched her laugh on the film so many years ago.  
  
Alex carefully sat down next to her, the motion drawing her mother’s gaze to her. It was soft, blissfully so and the smile on her mom’s lips was infectious. Alex presented her hand which her mother took and when she directed her eyes back to the television to the screen where her younger-self was throwing the ball to her dad, the woman next to her followed did so too.  
  
What her mother had been thinking that moment, Alex did not know. But the squeeze her mother gave her hand was warm and lovingly and made things a little bit better that very moment.

* * *

Alex huddled in her thick coat, hair pulled into a tight ponytail so that it wouldn’t blow in her face, the woman who had her arm linked with hers laughed. Loud, boisterous and drawing attention and looks, but Lilian Reeves did not care or notice that anymore. They were standing at the rail of the ferry, the wind howling around them and picking up the waves. The raindrops in their faces were mere annoying pinpricks but the dark grey clouds above promised something more than just pinprick.  
  
On her day-off, Alex often took her mother on a small hike on Protection Island, at Smuggler’s Park. They used to went to Gabriola, but as her mother’s health decreased, the distance had become too tiring for her mother. So they went to Protection Island instead; just a short ferry trip away.  
  
After the day of her accident, Alex no longer enjoyed open waters, nor flying, especially not how the ferry was rocking now because of the wind and rough water. The laughter coming from her mother made all the sweaty palms and nervous churns in her stomach worth it though.  
  
Arriving back at Nanaimo Harbour, they slowly walked off the ramp, an end coming to their trip even though it was just mid-day. Back over one shoulder and her other arm linked with her mother’s they walked towards the car. It’s chipped red paint standing out among the grey’s, black’s and blue’s.  
  
The rain got thicker, now instead of annoying they got big and fat. Patting on the roof of the car, driven apart on impact, gliding across the metal down across the windshield or the side of the car, or was it the helicopter? The white and red paint gleaming orange in the flames that engulfed the oil platform, the salty sea wind smashing against the helicopter making the pilot groan as he tried to keep it under control.  
  
A hand carefully touching her own cold one abruptly ended the memory.  
  
Alex blinked, looking down in her mother’s wide eyes. Void of any emotion, not even an inkling, but the familiar colour was sort of reassuring. Alex took her mother’s hand and placed it on her lap before shutting the door of the chevy. Having no memory of how and when her mother got into the car and when it was unlocked.  
  
She walked around the car and got in at the driver’s side, shutting them inside. Shielding them from the outside world as the weather grew in intensity when Alex pulled them out of the parking space and shifted the gear into Drive. Knuckles white on the steering wheel.  


**Author's Note:**

> Like it?  
> Please review!


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